 My Hall of Fame B-Fest Lineup Like all "Best Ever" lists, this one will spark much debate. Here is a sampling of past B-Fest movies that are head and shoulders below the rest:
Black-sploitation starring Pam Grier who enacts vengance on drug dealers. Tremendous entertainment. Funky music. All this and a salad fight. Great stuff. Tagline: They call her Coffy and she'll cream you! 1) Plan 9 From Outer Space - Nuff Said! See here for more: 2) The Creeping Terror- This one hasn't been shown since 1991 because a good print of it is impossible to find. It used to be as popular as Plan 9, as half the audience got on-stage under blankets imitating the monster and the other half imiitated the twist-dancers about to be attacked. Most of the soundtrack was lost during filming, so voice-over narration prevails. 3) Glen or Glenda (the first part)- The companion piece to Plan 9, Ed Wood deliver's a impassioned yet highly campy plea for toleracne of cross-dressers. Oh man, this has got it all. Stock footage, angora sweaters, Bela Lugosi narrarating, and even Ed Wood himself portraying Glen! "Bevare! Bevare!" Also see Least Enjoyable List. 4) Invasion of the B-Girls - An audience favorite, they enjoy buzzing along when the b-girls attack their prey (which they kill by using sex.) 5) Kingdom of the Spiders - William Shatner stars in this thiller about a small town taken over by small spiders. Great theme song. 6) Beyond the Valley of the Dolls- Roger Ebert's first screenplay is Russ Meyer-ified in this '60s orgy of music, hedonism and drugs. "This is my happening and it FREAKS ME OUT!" 7) Gymkata- Olympic Medalist Kurt Thomas sells his soul to this action movie which has him running into gymnastic equipment at most opportune moments! 8) Destroy All Monsters- In the year 1999, all the Earth's giant monsters (Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, Angilas and Minya, among others) are incarcerated on Monster Island. Aliens release the beasts and send them to trample the cities of our world. Truly awe-inspiring with a fantastic victory dance by the monsters at the end. 9) Robot Monster- Guys in gorrila suits with diving helmets wipe out the entire human race except for one picnicking family and spend the whole movie trying to kill them with a bubble machine. The director committed suicide shortly after the release of this film. 10) Wizard of Speed and Time- Fully audience interactive short film. Mike Jittlov made this cult favorite about the title character who races across the country at high speeds and, with the help of magic, makes cameras, tripods, lights and clapper loaders doing a funky stop-motion dance. The audience runs up on stage and lies beneath the screen and gets a to enjoy the point-of-view shots of the Wizard speeding across the country. 11 |
 Least Enjoyable B-Fest Lineup Even among B-Fest there are movies that are not entertaining at all. He'res a few of them: 1) Radio Ranch - Boring sci-fi country nonsense. Yawn! 2) Battlefield Earth- Not horrible enough to be entertaining. Also it's ugly looking visually and oppressively loud--effectively drowing out our witty repartee. 2) The Raven- When the older version came on, it was time to go out for breakfast. 3) Glen Or Glenda- (the last half hour) Starts off great, then gets intollerable with a stock-footage driven tale of a steel worker who enjoys wearing ladies undergarments.Wha? 4) Jungle Hell- Name says it all. 5) Terror of a Tiny Town - A hard to stomach midget musical western. Look! They go UNDER the swinging salloon doors. Too rich! 6) Let My Puppet Come- A puppet porno with "wacky" humor. "Ngggghhhh!" 7) USS VD: Ship Of Shame- A declassified informational film about STD's put out by the US Navy in the '50s. Words fail me. 8) Tomb it May Concern- A tasteless short with horrible belly-dancing and the worst Lou Costello imitation this side of Buddy Hackett. I'm sure I'm missing some horrible fims--after all there have been so many. But these are the ones that immediately come to mind... |
