Things got started off well. My girlfriend, Susan, was there early and snagged the lower right-side seats. Mike Powers, James Kriegsman and and I arrived at about 5:45 after polishing off an El Famous Burritto, and we got settled in for 24 hours of the worst movies ever made. We were giddy with the anticipation.

Click on photo if you want to see a larger version of it (this will spawn an new window and will take sometime due to the high-quality of the photos.)
6:00PM: First Photo, from left to right: Mike Powers (who has been coming to B-Fest since the late '80s.) Mike Ross, (who flew in from L.A. just to see B-Fest) and his younger brother Dino.
 As the B-Fest progressed, more people filed in, here's Suzanne, Bill and Debbie digging the suave nuances of Daddy-O.Since it's 24 hours long, anytime you get there is a good time!
6:00PM: The first movie was Daddy-O, an enjoyable biker, hot-rodder, trucker romp from the '50s that featured a leading man who would sing and kiss hard (often at the same time.) A great way to get things started! Except for at the end of the movie, the lead guy says that he's so happy he could sing and the movie ends before he gets a chance!
 8:00 PM: Then came Invasion of the Saucer-men. This one was a real winner. The large, lightbulb-headed aliens attempt to frame a teenager who accidentally hits an alien with his car. Many wondered why the aliens went through the hassle of framing this kid. The creature's hand comes alive and stalks him. The aliens have needles that come from their hands that are filled with pure alcohol and they fight cows.
I recognize that ugly brown color scheme! It must be Beneath the Planet of the Apes Beneath "The Planet Apes" is right! This wasn't the one where the apes travel to 1970's New York and go shopping at Macy's.That was slightly disabpointing. It was the first sequel to the original. Otherwise, this movie had it all. My favorite scene was one where the apes were hanging out in the sauna. Pictured above is a shot of New York's ruins that are, of course, beneath the planet of the apes.
 Beneath has Charlton Heston in it for only a short period of time. You see him at the beginning and at he incredibly downbeat ending. For more about this movie, check out this review at Stomp Toyko. Pictured above is the replacement for Taylor (Brent,) with the replacement Cornelius (this time played by David Watson, not Roddy McDowall.) Yessh! This is worse than watching scab football!
House On Haunted Hill 10:00PM: The 1958 William Castle version of this movie. Vincent Price portrays the millionare who offers $10,000 to who ever can spend a night in his creepy house. Originally presented theatrically with flying skeleton gimmick ``Emergo. '' which reportedly cost more to make than the movie itself.

 Pictured in the front row is Ernie Perez enjoying the Skeleton/ Acid Bath scene in House on Haunted Hill. No doubt, he is glad he did not see the 1999 remake which would have tainted his view of this horror masterpiece.
My girlfriend Susan is bundled up and ready for the entire festival. Sleeping on the floor is tough--the theater is clean and carpeted but it is still concrete underneath. It can be rough on your back or neck.
 Pictured right is my buddy Mike Brumm and his girlfriend Shannon Miller. Yes, Mike is wearing a shirt that says "I love Kidneys." Both work at Jellyvision, and joined into the B-Fest activities just in time for the crown jewel of the festival...
Plan 9 From Outer Space
11:40 PM: This is the Big One. A huge cheer erupts from the crowd when Ed Wood's fever dream specticle of a sci-fi movie first flashes on the screen. Many here JUST for this movie. More spectacular than "Rocky Horror," it's got Vampira, Tor Johnson, stock footage of Bela Lugosi, and a tall chiropractor. Everyone recites lines and helps act out the movie.
 B-Fest tradition is that everyone tosses paper plates during the scenes in Plan 9 featuring flying saucers. Click on the top part of the photo for a still from the movie of the saucers and click on the bottom half of the photo for a shot of the B-Fest crowd reacting to the saucers.
Besides the paper plates there are other traditions that the crowd participates in during the fest. Everytime the scene shifts from a night shot (studio) to a day shot (outdoors) the crowd yells "Night!" or "Day" accordingly.
 Here's a picture of me scooping up paper plates from the stage (which became entirely covered in seconds.) Sliding across stage (like the Slip 'n' Slide) on top of plates was also a good time.
After Bela Lugosi died during the filming of Plan 9, Ed Wood replaced him with a chiropractor a foot taller than Lugosi who would cover his face with a cape. So, during the scenes with Lugosi the crowd shouts out "Bela!" and they shout out "Not Bela!" when the chiropractor appears. Pictured above is my roomate Brendan and I doing an imitation of the imitator during the scene where he hunts down.
 As you can tell, Brendan is sitting on my shoulders and was covering his with a comforter. Since Brendan is about 6'5," we appeared to be collectively about 9feet tall. I couldn't see where I was going, so I had to listen to Brendan directions so I didn't fall off the stage or fall into the screen. Susan took these fine pictures.
Another tradition includes yelling out "Tor" for Tor Johnson (the 300 lb. Swedish pro-wrestler who plays the bald zombie picured in the upper right portion of this page.)
 Many shine flashlights at the screen also to help the characters of these movies find their way through these convoluted plots. I also like to use my slide whistle from time to time to accentuate certain scenes.
Here's Susan holding my door prize I won! A large book called "Monster Madness" with great B-Movie posters! Could this B-Fest possibly get any better?!?! Oh, yes. It will... Pictured above is Jean-Claude Van Damme in clown makeup in The Quest, Van Director dammed this film from 1996, co-starring Roger Moore. Jean-Claude, once again finds himself on the run in the '20s; entering a top-secret kung fu tournament. Roger Moore actually said the line: "My name is Dobbs, Captain Dobbs."
The crowd dug this one and chanted "USA! USA!" when Van Damme fought the best fighters in the world. And speaking of rampant patriotism. I like when B-Fest shows a wide variety of films; even recent ones like the Quest. Man has been making bad movies since the dawn of time--why should we be limited to mocking '50s b/w sci-fi movies? Fast becoming a B-Fest staple is What Is Communism? This propoganda film made during the height of the red scare of the '50s. Some one in the audience passed out little American flags for this short film that teach us that communists are DIRTY, GODLESS, UNDERHANDED, and members of an INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY!
It Came From Outer Space came on at about 8:00 am (I could totally be wrong, I lost track of time after Plan 9.) They actually passed out 3D glasses. I watched this one for about 45 minutes and then slept for a while.
 From left is Dino, Susan, Duncan, Tim Gunderson (fellow Tribune employee) and cagey B-Fest Veteran Justin Sheehy enjoying all three dimensions of It Came From Outer Space. In the back is Scott Dummler. I used to work at Scott at Luminair Productions. He helped sponsored the fest and gave away DVD's of bad movies as door prizes via his DVD Club website.
I think that this is from the Quartermass and the Pit (aka Five Million Years to Earth.) The film burned up at the beginning so I never saw the title. It is another 1967 Hammer Film that was actually well-done compared to the rest. This is a close up of the tea-station is important to maintaining strength during B-Fest. Yelling at the screen for 24 hours can take it's toll on your vocal chords. But, keeping a kettle with hot water running will help soothe the throat. Use non-caffinated (Celestial Seasonings Lemon Zinger is my fave) tea so you don't get dehydrated and add honey (which coats nicely) and you'll be back hurling insults with verve. Or, in the case of this photo, be enjoying the Wizard of Speed and Time from the stage.
Pictured from left to right is Mike Powers (asleep,) James, Robin and Susanna. Attempting to eat a whole coffee cake, some of you might remember James from my Oregon journal. He is now a Doctor and spent last week testing video games for Jellyvision. Shhhh! Susan's trying to sleep! Battling a cold, I slept alot more than I normally do at B-Fest. Oh well, there is something fun

about sleeping in a dark theatre.
2:30pm Uh oh, here comes the Slime People - A "Mystery Science Theater 3000" favorite. Watch out for the Wall of Fog (which looks like its creeping into the right of the screen in this photo. This movie looked like all the other '50s b/w sci-fi b-pictures: an older smart guy, a teenaged handsome guy older handsome guy, a blonde and a brunette get chased by extras in rubber suits all over Southern California.
 At about 3:20pm, I started to panic. There were only two hours left and we hadn't even put a dent into the snacks we bought. So during we rounded up the bags, boxes, and cans and went to work. Here is Brumm living mad phat in snack heaven.
4:20pm: Women fighting each other in the desert? It can only be Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Russ Meyer's (Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.) ass-kicking masterpiece. This was the last movie at the festival and one of the oddest. It was simultaneously one of worst and best movies I've ever seen. The end.
And now for the clean up part. There is a lot of stuff to pick up. Plates. plates. plates.
Here's my whole gang that lasted 'til the end. I even put their names on the photo for your enjoyment... Unpacking at home, here is my backpack of goodies that I took to the festival. Sniff! I'll miss B-Fest. Until 2001!
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