3:30 pm. Since I don't have a job, I was able to get over to B-Fest early. My good friend Chad Fifer flew in from LA for his first B-Fest in years. I was excited about that. My, ahem, ex-girlfriend Susan was picking us up and driving us to the festival.

Click on photo if you want to see a larger version (this will spawn an new window and will take a little download time due to the high-quality of the photos.)
3:30 pm. Me tearing apart my room trying to find my slide whistle! Eventually, Susan found it for me. Thank goodness! My G4.
And we are off to pick up Dave Stinton, and then head up to Evanston to Northwestern University (the Norris Center.) There's Dave. And he's brought a little something that will hopefully make for a great prop.
Dave had never stayed for the whole fest but this year he (along with his garbage bag full of goodies) was determined this year. Dave got this on loan from Edith Head.
We got our usual seats and we are ready to go! Friends started piling in! And the lousy movies commence! Me blinding Brendan Gardiner with my new digital camera. Also pictured is my sister Jen (back for more after last year) and Susan (right.)
Now, we get into the first movie. The Crawling Eye. Most of the movie features supposedly-menacing shots of the mountain range in the background. So, every audience member would scream anytime they showed a mountain shot (including Battlefield: Earth.)
More Crawling Eye, this one has been showed a few times before and is a pretty good one to get warmed up to. A huge crawling eye is killing people at sleepy mountain scientific lab. So what hi-tech weapon do the scientists combat this terror with? Molotov cocktails naturally...
 This year, I out-sourced the bell to Dave Stinton who did a great job punctuating scenes throughout the evening such as 1) Kisses (Ding!) 2) Fights (Ding, ding, ding of a fight bell) and 3) prisoners pounding rocks with mallets (A delayed Ding! to simulate the carnival strongman bell.) Outstanding work.
And the Crawling Eye eventually suffers a burning fate... Which makes Susan happy. Along with "Gymkata."
Gymkata featured Olympic Medalist Kurt Thomas (along with his mullet) entering a Van-Dammesque secret kung-fu tournament in the country of Parmestan. This one is a real winner...on of the all time B-Fest best. Kurt runs into pommel horses, uneven bars at the right times so he can use his Gym (Gymnastics) - Kata (Karate?) at the same time. Dynamite!
Once again, a newer B-Fest classic is What Is Communism? This propoganda film made during the height of the red scare of the '50s. Some one in the audience passed out little American flags for this short film that teach us that communists are DIRTY, GODLESS, UNDERHANDED, and members of an INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY!
USA! USA! USA!
The speaker, Herbert A. Philbrick, is somewhat remincent of a older, sterner Gilbert Godfried. This movie had an even weirder tone in this post 9/11 world we live in. Believe it or not, there was something more than sarcasm behind the flag waving.
This is from "Hardware Wars;" the earliest and most famous of all "Star Wars" spoofs. I had never seen it before. It's pretty funny but not hilarous. It did pretty well though at the fest.
 Here is some of the hardy B-Fest staff during a break. They are to be thanked for their titanic yearly efforts.
Mike Brumm claims he gets 20 hours of sleep during B-Fest. Since he wasn't here, James Kriegsmann is trying to keep the tradition going.

 People were getting ready for slumber.
This slot was resevered for Battlefield: Earth but the film reels were backwards and upside down. So they showed Message From Space instead...which looked like Battlefield: Earth backwards and upside down. The message from "Message From Space" is that there is no message.
This movie went on LONG. The crowd shouted out "End! End! End!" in an attempt to will the movie to a conclusion. It didn't work.
This was a weird movie... It was a Star Wars knockoff but really made no sense. This guy is dressed like a Japanese kung-fu moto cross champion from 1981.

 Somebody enacting the Princess Leia enactment from "Message From Space." A copy of a copy!
Chad Fifer poses for a picture as Vic Morrow...alcoholic space pimp. Fifer reinacting the "glowing drink" scene from Message From Space.
There was also a strange subplot involving some glowing walnuts that no one could quite decipher. "Take the picture already!"
11:20 PM. Break time...time to stretch out. The B-Fest staff raffles off valuable gifts.
James proudly shows off the spoils of recieving a PHD in Applied Mathmatics at Northwestern University: a free t-shirt with a snowman on the front. Lounging with (right to left) Jori, Dave, Robin, and Jori's brother (who's name escapes me.)
Okay, the reason I took so many pictures of Susan was to test out my camera. Susan with flash. Susan without flash.
Is Mike Ross doing abdominal exercise. Not exactly, the crowd is on stage for the interactive short Wizard of Speed and Time you feel like you are racing along at 400 mph!
 It's a B-Fest tradition as old as the 19 years B-Fest has been running.
After Wizard, everyone shouts out "Backwards" and the projectionist runs the flim backwards. More people on stage for Wizard of Speed and Time.
This is the carpeted floor that most people will be sleeping on eventually. Uh, oh. That looks like Criswell. Which means...
...It's time for Plan 9 From Outer Space: the crown jewel of B-Fest! B-Fest tradition demands that the audience tosses paper plates in the air anytime the "flying saucer" from Plan 9 appears on the screen. It gets pretty crazy! (Courtesy of Justin Sheehy)
The audience chants "Bela" (when Bela Lugosi shows up) "Not Bela!" (when his chiropractor body double shows up) and "Tor!" (when 300 lb Swedish pro-wrestler Tor Johnson appears.) (Courtesy of Justin Sheehy) Every year, Gardiner gets up on my shoulders and we re-enact the "tall chiropractor stand-in for Bela Lugosi" scene.
Event staff. (Photo courtesy of Justin Sheehy) Gardiner and I accepting our Academy Award for "Best On-Stage Bit."
Enjoying the eye of storm during Plan 9. Plates (Courtesy of Justin Sheehy)
Susan and I act out Tor Johnson carrying a unconsious woman. Fully interactive.
Plates (Courtesy of Justin Sheehy) Silly yet effective. (Courtesy of Justin Sheehy)
Plates (Courtesy of Justin Sheehy) Vampira doesn't say much.
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