[ Back to 2002 Photos Part 1 ] Plan 9 had ended and how could any movie possibly top the madness of Ed Wood Jr. Well, Pam Grier was in town with Coffy and, goddammit, she was going to try her best... Click on photo if you want to see a larger version (this will spawn an new window and will take a little download time due to the high-quality of the photos.) ... Plan 9 From Outer Space: the undesputued Heavyweight Champion of B-Fest! Ed Wood Jr's masterpiece about aliens, monsters and Bela Lugosi's final film. Chris Lackey up for his first on-stage bit. He played Bela Lugosi mournfully picking a flower after his wife's passing. Touching. Dave approves. This movie is the main event for B-Fest people come just for this picture. B-Fest tradition demands that the audience tosses paper plates in the air anytime the "flying saucer" from Plan 9 appears on the screen. It gets pretty crazy! More plates. Dave goves up on trying to duck plates. More plates. Plates. Plates. There's me sliding across the stage on paper plates a la "Slip and Slide." Good times. Gardiner and I doing our "extra-tall chiropractor who's a stand-in for Bela Lugosi" routine. An old chestnut. Oh, will humans ever learn? Nope, I guess not. You cannot hide Susan. No way... not from... The Happy Hooker.1:20 PM. (And I don't think they are referring to how much she likes crochet.) Here's Lynn Redgrave. She wore some wacky outfits. Here's a bunch of hookers getting booked...probably for prostitution. This movie was pretty boring and tame. The above pattycake game was the most steamy scene in the movie. 2:10PM. This is from Flesh Gordon, which was really terrible on all counts. Not to biting of satire or parody that it wished it was. And not erotic one iota. There is Flesh himself. This movie was really poor. Flash's ship. Guess what it looks like. Erik and Gardiner cannot handle any more and go to sleep. They missed the Warlords of Atlantis. So did I. Zzzzzz. 6:20 AM. A spooky opening shot of a lone boat floating in darkness opens an early Francis Ford Coppola movie Dementia 13. Creepy. I have this on video. I've never watched it. I slept thorough most of it this time too. Yawn. 7:30 AM. Time for the Hulk Hogan's best film: No Holds Barred. This was pretty good and had the crowd shouting "AARRGGG!!" (imitiating Hogan's best line of dialogue) during the movie and throughout the rest of the fest. Here is Rip Thomas (played ably by Hulk Hogan) is in his dressing room before the big climatic wrestling match. This guy was the corporate villain who wanted to kill Hogan for some reason. Hogan's headband said "Rip 'em!" I'm holding the championship belt. In this movie, even a choke hold was legal. Gardiner explaining how none of the holds were barred in the movie No Holds Barred. 9:40 AM. After breakfast, we saw the delirious Coca-Cola sponsored ET knockoff Mac and Me. Oh God, where do I start? This movie was certainly a candidate for my B-Fest Hall of Fame. An alien-- who sucks nectar out of straws from the ground on his home planet-- becomes stranded on earth with the rest of his family. Brendan Gardiner, getting $2 worth of music out of a 67 cent plastic flute. This movie probably get's the MVP this year. Words fail me. I seriously lost my shit during Mac and Me. Instead of the aliens digging Reece's Pieces, they loved drinking Coca-Cola. In fact, Mac himself is brought back from the brink of death from a can of Coke. That shit was ridiculous. Nobody could believe what they were seeing during the extended '80s dance scene at a McDonalds. (The alien dressed up as a teddy bear to sneak into the resatuarant and was so overcome with joy that he started dancing on the front counter.) Now on to Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon."This was pretty good. It reminded me of Breakin' from last year. But with kung-fu instead of Break dancing. Fifer dressed as the main character...The Last Dragon. Another shot for you. Fifer and I acted out the climatic scene where the villiain shoots the Last Dragon. It looks like he kills him but... no! He caught the bullet with his teeth. Great stuff! I don't know why Gardiner put on this mustache but it made his flute playing funnier by a factor of 12. 1:10: It Came From Beneath The Sea...showed up. A great Ray Harryhausen time, but first.. We all went to the Wildcat Cafeteria and grabbed some food. "The Last Dragon" put everyone in a Oriental food kinda mood. Back to It Came From Beneath the Sea. It was a beautiful print. It looked like it was reissued. It's too bad...most of the old '50s sci-fi films that used to be the backbone of B-Fest are becoming harder to find with each passing year. That's probably why this years' fest featured so many '80s movies. "It" looked like a giant octopus. "It" attacked the Golden Gate Bridge. 2:30 pm: Next was the new B-Fest classic "What Is Communism." This one is pretty silly. Some guy brought his kids and they had a great time waving flags during the Anti-Communism movie. Later on, he even got on stage with his son during Godzilla 1985. He ran across the stage and scooped up his son--interacting with a scene where the masses are fleeing Godzilla. Very funny. 2:50pm: Now it was time for Supergirl. Starring Helen Slater. Product placement: A/W Root beer, Popeye's Chicken, STP and Tylenol. I think this is from Supergirl. But I don't know for sure. 4:50pm: B-Fest always ends with a giant monster movie and this B-Fest would be no different. Vetran B-Fest movie Godzilla 1985 was the closer. Destruction. This sure is a dark movie. Gardiner doing a bit portraying the Japanese scientists holding a conference on what to do with the "Godzilla Problem." B-Fest over. Clean up now. 6:10 PM ere's what's left of our group. A hardy bunch. THE NEXT DAY: L.A. Denizen Chris Lackey wanted a picture of him with snow. He got it. UNTIL NEXT YEAR. [ Back to 2002 Photos Part 1 ] back to top